Sovereign Path Series: Part 7. The Real Work Begins: Sovereignty as a Lived Practice
A woman walks through an open field at dusk, her fingers grazing the tall grass - grounded unhurried, alone but not lost. The sky is soft, the earth steady. This is the moment after the fall, when clarity begins to grow roots.
The moment the illusion breaks is not the moment you feel free.
It's the moment you realize how much of your life was shaped inside someone else’s frame.
You saw through the manipulation. You named the false leader. You broke the pattern - quietly, bravely, without applause.
But now you’re standing in the echo - and it’s not liberation you always feel at first.
It’s disorientation. It’s grief.
You begin to realize - if the version of you that sought safety in dysfunction is gone - what rises in its place?
This isn’t the “empowerment moment” everyone talks about.
This is the invisible rebuild.
The quiet, often painful process of learning to live without the emotional scaffolding that once told you who you were, how to belong, and what to believe.
And this is where sovereignty begins.
Not in the rupture, but in the rebuild.
Not in the anger, but in the choices you make after it cools.
Not in theory, but in the small, lived decisions you make every day - when no one is watching.
This final chapter of The Sovereign Path isn’t here to inspire you.
It’s here to help ground you in what truth actually requires.
It’s here to walk with you as you meet the question:
Can I trust myself enough to be the authority now?
What No One Tells You About The “After”
Once you’ve seen through the illusion, the power games, or the manipulative group dynamic, you expect to feel powerful. Lighter. Stronger. Clearer.
But, instead, most people feel:
Wobbly: stripped of the emotional anchors that once kept you upright
Hyperaware: watching for betrayal in every room
Cynical or jaded
Exhausted: grieving time, energy, trust lost
Ashamed: for not seeing it sooner
Tempted: to soften the truth in exchange for belonging again
Uncertain: about who or what to trust - including themselves
Comfort becomes seductive.
Doubt becomes soothing.
And it’s easier to gaslight yourself than to face what your intuition already knew.
That’s not failure. It isn’t regression.
That’s withdrawal.
You’ve just unplugged from something that regulated your nervous system, even if it harmed you and distorted your perception of love, truth, or power.
The Science of Sovereignty: A Nervous System Perspective
When we’ve been in high-control environments - spiritual or otherwise - we become wired to external cues.
Over time, our sense of “safety” attaches, and becomes outsourced, to:
Approval
Certainty
Belonging
Authority figures, “elders”, or “guides” who seem to “know better”
Familiar patterns that help us feel in control
When that system collapses, it’s not just emotional-its somatic. Your body doesn’t yet know it’s safe. This is why people often go back - to the group, the teacher, the “maybe it wasn’t that bad”.
Not because they are weak or naive.
Because they haven’t yet learned to re-anchor in themselves. Their system is still frozen in fear, loyalty, or the illusion of comfort.
The work now isn’t just emotional.
Its physiological.
And it’s sacred.
Living Sovereignty in Real Life - What Embodied Sovereignty Actually Looks Like
Here’s what real sovereignty looks like - not as a concept, but in motion:
It’s not dramatic.
Its consistent.
And often invisible.
Choosing honesty over comfort.
Saying “I need space” when urgency pressures you
Listening to your body’s cues instead of overriding them for approval
Asking: “Is this true for me?” before accepting something blindly as wisdom
It’s noticing when you want to give your power away - even subtly.
It’s witnessing yourself in old patterns without shame - and choosing differently.
It’s leading yourself, when no one else is guiding you.
In Conversation:
You pause before agreeing.
You notice if your body tightens when someone speaks with authority and how you feel in conversations with people.
You say “I’m going to sit with that”, instead of reflexively nodding. You listen to your gut. Your discernment. Your instinct.
You notice if you are choosing comfort, familiarity, and acceptance over what truly aligns with your soul and feeds your vitality, goals, and dreams. Because glamour and manipulative tactics will dull your vitality - true life alignment will fuel it.
In Decision-Making:
You don’t ask five people what they’d do.
You weigh your values.
You ask, “What outcome feels most honest to me, even if it’s uncomfortable?”
In Relationships:
You no longer mistake intensity for intimacy.
You stop confusing being needed with being loved.
You speak your needs without demanding others meet them.
The Temptation to Return to False Safety
This is where many fall back asleep.
When faced with the pain of truth, people often bargain with the past.
“Maybe they didn’t mean harm.”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“They helped me too.”
“This is part of my life path.”
“Maybe I misunderstood.”
“Who am I to judge?”
And if the community still offers warmth, acceptance, routine, identity?
It can be very tempting to return.
But, this is where you need to be brutally honest with yourself:
Are you choosing truth - or comfort?
Alignment - or appeasement?
Are you fueling your vitality and growth - or self sabotaging, avoiding, and sitting in denial?
Are you feeding cycles of confusion - or seeking deep truth within yourself?
Sometimes the most dangerous manipulation is the one you gaslight yourself into staying in - because leaving would mean facing your own complicity.
That is where ego steps out of balance and pride becomes your greatest adversary.
Sovereignty asks you to feel the shame, the regret, the grief…
and still not hand your power back.
The Slow Rebuild: A Different Kind of Strength
You can’t rebuild on false ground.
This part of the journey isn’t about doing more.
It’s about doing differently.
Reconnecting with your body as a compass
Rebuilding emotional safety from the inside out
Learning to hold complexity without collapsing
You don’t need a new group.
You need to build trust with yourself again.
And yes, it will feel lonely at first.
But you’re not abandoned.
You’re in between.
And that’s where your integrity roots itself for real.
Integration Tools for the New Foundation: Building Your Sovereignty Muscle
1.The Daily Truth Audit: Reclaiming Inner Authority
This isn’t just reflection. It’s self-leadership in real time; in micro-moments.
Each evening - or whenever you feel your energy was pulled off center - ask yourself:
Where did I override my inner knowing today?
Did I say yes when I meant no? Did I stay silent when I wanted to speak?
Where did I follow someone else’s voice instead of my own?
Was I trying to please, prove, or belong? Did I shrink to avoid discomfort? Am I still seeking external validation or approval?
Where did I hold my ground, even when it was hard?
Celebrate it. Mark it. This is you rebuilding self-trust.
What part of me needed support, clarity , or safety - and how can I offer it now?
This is not about judgement. It’s about self-nurturing, reparenting, and tending to your inner child.
Repeat this for 3 weeks. Patterns will emerge. You’ll begin to see, not just what pulls you off path - but what strengthens your center.
Sovereignty isn’t found in big declarations. It’s found in these micro-moments of honesty with yourself. Its found in the silent celebration of choosing yourself over and over, each and every day.
2. Embodied Reanchoring Practice: Teaching Your Nervous System You’re Safe Without Control
When you’ve lived inside distorted power dynamics - spiritual or relational - your body learns to associate certainty with safety. When illusion breaks, your nervous system often stays in fight/flight long after the threat is gone.
This practice helps rewire that response, so you stop chasing authority outside yourself.
Do this daily, especially after emotional activation:
Sit or lie down. Uncross your limbs. Breathe slowly into your belly.
Place one hand on your heart, one on your lower abdomen.
Say aloud:
I’m here now.
I am safe and I am loved.
I choose my pace.
I don’t need to know everything to be safe.
Scan your body for tension. Notice any urge to seek answers or fix a feeling.
Let the urge come.
Don’t follow it.
End with this statement:
I trust myself to lead, even in the unknown.
This rewires the loop that says “safety = control” and replaces it with “safety = presence”. Ultimately, it will help you to replace your need for control with presence.
You become your own anchor. Not the next method. Not the next mentor. You.
3. The Discernment Inventory: Clearing the Residue of Influence
When you’ve been shaped by systems that distorted truth in the name of love, light, power, or authority, discernment isn’t automatic. It must be rebuilt - carefully, intentionally, and with self-compassion.
This tool helps you check for lingering energetic or psychological residue - and teaches you how to recognize alignment from fear-driven loyalty.
Ask yourself regularly (weekly or when entering new spaces):
1. When someone inspires me, do I feel more connected to myself - or more dependent on them?
Do I leave their space with clarity - or with a desire to chase approval?
2. Does this person/path invite me deeper into personal responsibility or deeper into performance?
Are they creating mirrors - or contracts of silence?
3. What unspoken agreements am I making to stay connected here?
Am I betraying any truth to stay included?
4. Is this relationship helping me trust myself more - or trust myself less?
This is the litmus test.
Discernment doesn’t mean paranoia - it means presence. The goal isn’t to fear influence, but to recognize it before it becomes entanglement.
4. The Boundary Repatterning Practice: Saying No Without Explaining Yourself
One of the deepest wounds after spiritual distortion or people-pleasing systems is the belief that you must justify your clarity. That you must soften your no. Or earn your space.
This tool helps you reclaim boundaries as an act of self-trust, not defense. Reclaiming your “no” without guilt.
Practice this boundary repatterining once per day:
1.Say no to something low-stakes but automatic.
Decline a text conversation you don’t have energy for.
Don’t offer advice when you feel pressured to respond.
Postpone a task you are not emotionally available for.
2. Notice what rises.
Guilt? Fear of being misunderstood? Pressure to explain?
3. Breathe into the tension. Say silently (or aloud):
I am not responsible for managing someone else’s perception of my limits.
My boundary is not a betrayal.
4. Reflect with curiosity, not critique:
What part of me believes it must be liked or accepted to be valid?
This is nervous system work. Identity work. Integrity work. And it takes repetition to rewire. Start with the smallest no - and keep building from there.
The New Devotion: Self-Loyalty Over External Validation
Eventually, your choices no longer stem from fear.
They’re born from clarity.
Not from proving.
But from alignment.
Sovereignty doesn’t mean doing it alone.
It means not collapsing your truth to keep the peace and stay connected.
It means being able to:
Receive support without dependency or losing center
Love without self-abandonment
Speak without self-censorship
Connect without shape-shifting
This is the Path Now
You’re not looking for a new savior.
You’re not asking someone to hold what you’re fully capable of carrying.
You’re done choosing comfort over clarity.
You’re done gaslighting your gut and your future for someone else’s convenience.
You’re done bypassing what your body already knows.
Because now, you’ve remembered something ancient and immovable:
You are the authority you were waiting for.
You are the truth-teller now.
You are the one who sees clearly - and lives accordingly.
And you are recommitting to yourself, your future, and your highest good.
You’re no longer living for acceptance, answers, or permission.
You’re living in response to your own wisdom - however slowly it speaks, however inconvenient it feels.
This is sovereignty in practice:
Unpolished
Unapologetic
Unshakably yours
This isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about being honest enough to no longer betray yourself.
Because sovereignty isn’t just something you claim.
It’s something you build - moment by moment:
One choice at a time.
One boundary at a time.
One reclamation at a time.
And sometimes, one day at a time.
That is sovereignty.
And that is everything.
And if you’re still shaking while you walk it - you’re not alone.
Most of us are still learning to trust our own feet again.
But every honest step is sacred.
And you’re already further than you think.
Sovereign Path Series: Part 5. Discernment Is the Gateway to Sovereignty
Not everything that appears whole is rooted in truth.
Some circles shine with light on the surface - while decay spreads quietly underneath.
Discernment is the skill of seeing what’s behind the reflection.
It’s the soul’s way of saying: “I no longer choose beauty over integrity.”
There’s a moment on the healing path - one that feels less like liberation and more like psychic surgery - where you realize:
Not everything that glitters is gold.
Not everyone who holds space is clean.
And not every woman in your circle is your sister.
Discernment is the fire that rises when the soul says:
No more pretending not to see.
Discernment Isn’t Judgement. It’s Protection.
Let’s clear something up:
We’ve been conditioned - especially as spiritual women - to blur the lines between discernment and judgement.
Having a boundary is being called “closed”, “pushy”, or “b$tchy”.
To notice and call out a distortion is seen as “projecting”.
To walk away from someone misusing power is labeled as “unhealed”.
But here is the truth:
Discernment is your body knowing before your mind does.
It’s the quiet voice inside you saying “this doesn’t feel right” before the betrayal fully reveals itself.
It is your innate gift - and the most underdeveloped tool in many spiritual circles because of groupthink, sisterhood glamours, childhood conditioning & conservative stereotypes, and bypass culture, that teach us to override it.
How I Lost & Reclaimed My Discernment
I once sat in circle with women I loved - women I learned, shared, and felt community with.
I felt the power. I felt the connection.
But somewhere along the way, I started to doubt what I felt in my gut.
I overrode the red flags in favor of spiritual ideals, community belonging, and a sense of being “relatable” and “kind”.
I called it “giving grace”, giving the “benefit of the doubt”, being “nonjudgemental”. I called it “unconditional sisterly love”.
I called it many things.
But deep down? I was really just abandoning myself.
And when the veil dropped - when I saw the manipulation, the subtle power plays, the very real maliciousness that lie underneath the sweet exterior and smile, and the cloaked control -
I realized I wasn’t crazy.
I was trained to suppress and dismiss my discernment in order to belong.
That is not sisterhood. It is not community. That’s spiritual submission.
And, like it or not, some people exploit and prey upon this sisterhood wound, because it is far more common than you’d like to think.
5 Discernment Keys for the Sovereign Path
If you are building sovereignty for yourself - a path for yourself rooted in truth, clarity, and sacred leadership - you need to hear this.
Here are the five keys I’ve learned through the fire:
Watch the Energy, Not the Words
Spiritual distortion is often dressed in poetic language and polished “light”.
It tells you want you want to hear - but leaves your body feeling tight, drained, or confused.
Discernment isn’t about doubting what is said - it’s about reading what’s underneath.
The energy never lies. Learn to trust what you feel.
Your Body is the Oracle
Tension in your gut? Heart constriction? Throat tingling or tightening? Head fog around someone?
That sudden headache after a Zoom circle?
The nervous system spike when they compliment you?
The subtle withdrawal that you feel when they enter a room?
These are just a few of the somatic signals your body may send you to pay attention to a dissonance in energy.
It is not your trauma speaking. It is not paranoia.
It’s perception.
Or in other words, it is your discernment radar lighting up. And it is screaming for your attention.
Your body is the most accurate lie detector you will ever meet - if you’re willing to stop overriding it.
You may hear this a thousand times, but it’s worth bears hearing again - the more you yield to listening to your body - taking that sacred pause to get really present with yourself and attune to it’s message - to really learn to trust yourself - the more this gift will strengthen and surprise you. It is like a muscle - the more you use it and learn to rely upon it, the stronger and more reliable it becomes.
What Happens When You Say No?
Healthy people honor boundaries. Distorted ones punish them.
If someone shifts when you say no - pouts, withdraws, criticizes, or reframes your truth as a “shadow”. Or, in any other way violates or tries to push back a strong boundary you hold in your life - you’re being shown something.
Discernment asks: Is this dynamic safe and honoring for my no? In my gut, am I truly okay with this?
If not - it’s not sovereign.
Look for Emotional Transactionalism
Does support only come when you’re useful?
Do you feel obligated to offer energy just to be seen or stay “in” the group?
Are you giving more than you’re receiving - energetically or emotionally; or even in your time, services, and generosity - but gaslit into calling it “service”?
Is generosity always repaid in visibility, loyalty, or gossip protection?
That’s not love. That’s energetic debt disguised as “community”.
Check the scales - and don’t dismiss them. Truth and true healthy relationship are balanced and reciprocal.
Sovereign bonds don’t require emotional payments to stay valid.
If It Can’t Withstand Truth, It Wasn’t Real
Can you ask hard questions without being shamed or dismissed?
Can you name what you feel without being flipped into the role of the wounded one?
Can you speak your truth without someone rushing to silence you in the name of “unity” or some other covert cause?
Are criticism or questions met with victimhood or truth?
If a bond only works when you stay small, silent, or continue to self-sacrifice -
you’re not in sacred space - you’re in a controlled one.
Discernment reveals the difference between true sisterhood and community - and energetic submission.
And while you may think this is radically obvious - it can often be much more subtle on the surface than you might think.
Discernment will help you spot this no matter how small the dissonant frequency is.
Discernment isn’t a weapon.
It is the boundary your soul sets to protect your becoming.
If someone calls that a threat,
they were never aligned with your truth -
only your compliance.
Let this be a gift you protect, honor, and stay highly attuned with. How others receive you and honor this part of you back, speaks volumes energetically.
Inner Reflection:
Take a breath and ask yourself:
Where am I still betraying my body’s knowing in exchange for connection?
What truths am I avoiding because I’m afraid of what they’ll cost me?
Where do I rely on my intellect and logic instead of my own inner knowing?
Where do I let my ego hold me back or override my intuition and discernment? Am I okay with acknowledging I may be wrong? If not, what lies underneath that?
What would it mean - what would it really look like - to let discernment lead in my life?
How can I better honor more pause, presence, and discernment in my life and allow this gift to strengthen?
These aren’t easy questions - but they are the ones that will set you free.
How To Rewire Your System To Feel Truth Again After Spiritual Betrayal
Most people teach discernment like it’s a checklist or a mental muscle.
But if you’ve ever said, “I knew something was off - but I stayed anyway.”
then you’ve already discovered the truth no one tells you:
Your ability to discern truth has nothing to do with your mind.
It isn’t intellectual - It’s energetic. Its cellular.
And it lives in your nervous system, your trauma imprints, your ancestral memory, your fascia, and your subtle body.
And, when you’ve been glamoured, gaslit, or groomed in a spiritual space, your frequency gets hijacked. Your field gets crosswired. Your body begins to associate control with safety…and sometimes, safety with love.
Here are 5 steps that will help heal your instrument so that you can get your signal back - so you can feel what’s true again and learn to trust yourself.
Not in theory. Not intellectually. But, in your body - your gut, your breath, and your bones.
Step 1: Understand How Energetic Hijacking Works
When you join a group or teacher with manipulative structures, several things often happen:
You get slowly conditioned to override your instincts: you abandon your no to stay included, you confuse intensity with intimacy, you mistake nervous system regulation for truth.
You disconnect from gut-level knowing (HPA axis and vagus nerve dysregulation)
You begin deferring to external cues (mirroring the group, fawning, over-attuning)
Your energy field contracts or expands incoherently (a key insight of glamour or charisma abuse)
Your subtle body becomes confused. Your energetic body starts mistaking nervous system regulation for safety- and safety for love. But these are not interchangeable. This confusion is how illusion enters. In other words, when trauma patterns are reinforced, your system may confuse calm for truth, control for safety, and approval for love.
Your discernment didn’t vanish. It was just overwritten.
Your signal became scrambled.
Step 2: Regulate to Reconnect; Regulation is the Portal, Not The Proof
You can’t discern truth in a dysregulated state. Your body has to feel safe enough to access truth.
Most people are trying to “tune in” while dissociated, anxious, or over-attuned to predators.
But here’s the catch: you can feel calm and still be in danger.
It’s possible to feel held and harmed at the same time. Many systems offer a sense of regulation - but if it’s paired with disempowerment or distortion, that “peace” is a performance:
Trauma bonded dynamics often regulate your nervous system just enough to keep you hooked - while bypassing the deeper dissonance in your soul. It feels calm, but it costs you clarity.
Some spiritual spaces soothe the parts of you that crave belonging….while subtly asking you to betray the parts of you that carry truth. That betrayal isn’t loud - its slow erosion.
Some spaces offer you comfort - but only if you abandon your core self to receive it. The nervous system calms while the soul withers. That’s not safety. That’s seduction. That’s often how cultic spaces work.
Real discernment begins when your nervous system no longer needs to belong in order to survive.
Step 3. Detox the Energetic Bond That’s Not Yours
Even after leaving a spiritual group, remnants often linger:
Cord entanglements
Thoughtforms looping in your head
Guilt tied to breaking silent contracts
Chakra distortion or entanglement (especially crown, solar plexus, and sacral)
Somatic patterning of fawning or compliance
Ground yourself daily. Call back your energy. Cord cut - as often as needed.
Step 4: Rebuild Self-Trust (Your Inner Oracle) with Pattern Recognition
Betrayal often installs shame: How did I not see it?
Most people understand the need to “trust themselves” again after betrayal and try to do so - but trust isn’t a decision. It is a pattern recognition system.
The antidote isn’t hypervigilance - it’s pattern tracking over time. So that next time you understand what to look for and help prep your body to wire to the clues.
Tool: The Pattern Map Journal
Track the moments when you:
Overrode your gut (that constriction you felt) and said yes….and why
Betrayed your knowing to stay included
Silenced yourself to be “spiritual”
Ignored body signals in favor of approval
Places where you confused resonance with recognition of an old wound
And then, write the reversal:
Next time I feel ______ I will ______.
You’re not shaming yourself - you’re updating your system.
You’re training your field to follow truth instead of trauma.
Step 5: Energetic Discernment Is Devotion - Not Division
One of the most damaging distortions is the idea of discernment becoming weaponized in some spiritual spaces:
You’re projecting.
You’re not trusting.
You’re in ego.
That’s just your trauma talking.
This is spiritual gaslighting.
Because here’s the truth:
Judgement divides. Discernment refines. And refinement is a sacred act of devotion to truth.
And truth is the goal. The real medicine is learning that discernment is sacred.
It’s the root of spiritual maturity.
It’s not about deciding who is “bad”.
It’s about tending to the truth within you like a holy fire. And learning to tune and protect your field and body so that you are not able to be glamoured again.
It’s about never ever again self-abandoning.
You don’t need to judge others.
You need to become the clearest frequency in the room. Boldy yet humbly confident and certain of yourself.
You were never meant to follow.
You were meant to feel.
And once you trust your own frequency again, you become unglamourable.
Every time you choose truth over performance, clarity over charisma, soul over any tether to belonging - you reclaim your inner temple.
The teacher you were seeking? The one you thought abandoned you?
She has always been there. Curled up inside your chest and waiting for you to return.
The Gift Of Aligning With Discernment
Discernment is sacred. It is not cold. It is not cruel. It is not too pushy.
It is a flame.
And the more you feed it, the more your field
becomes a temple
that only truth may enter.
And if you choose to align your life - your deepest inner self - with truth,
you will see abundance, joy, and fulfillment in levels. you could only dream of for yourself.
If you’ve ever doubted yourself - I see you.
If you’ve been gaslit in the name of spiritual “hierarchy” - I believe you.
And, if you’re walking away from a situation or community that is tough to say goodbye to, to honor your own discernment - know, that I see and honor your self-love and courage.
Let this be your line in the sand.
This Is the Sovereign Path
To walk the Sovereign Path is to choose truth over comfort.
It is to stop outsourcing your own inner knowing to teachers, lovers, friends, or groups.
It is to reclaim the original oath you made with your own soul - that you would never abandon her again.
Sovereignty means you are the final authority in your own field.
It means your no is sacred, your yes is embodied, and your silence is never for someone else’s comfort.
This post is part of my Sovereign Path Series - a collection of posts to support those waking up from distortion and stepping into clean power.
If you have ever doubted your intuition or stayed too long in a space that drained you - this is your permission to burn the script and begin again.
More empowered. More Attuned.
More in alignment than ever before to claim the path before you that was always yours, waiting and ready for you to finally walk away from all the distractions and wounds that held you back- and embrace your future ahead with clarity, courage, and sovereignty.
With So Much Love,
Seraph
The Sovereign Path - Part 3: 11 Red Flags of a False Guide.
The moment you choose your truth over belonging - the quiet power of walking away from what once felt sacred but wasn’t.
How to Spot Spiritual Manipulation Before You Get Hooked - Discernment Is Your Protection
Once you’ve been glamoured - once you’ve had your energy siphoned, your intuition manipulated, or your sacred wounds played like strings - your body remembers. But your mind? It may still be catching up.
You may still second-guess what happened.
You might still spiritualize their behavior:
“Maybe it was a soul lesson.”
“Maybe I wasn’t ready for their wisdom.”
“Maybe I misunderstood things.”
No.
You didn’t misunderstand.
You were being manipulated under the guise of spiritual wisdom.
This post is your mirror.
Let’s break down the signs - not to breed fear, but to build discernment so you never hand your power over to someone again.
Because real teachers sharpen your clarity.
False ones feed on your confusion. They steal your time, your peace, and your sovereignty.
11 Red Flags of A False Guide
…..and what they are really doing underneath the surface
1. They claim to be your only access point to truth, healing, or Source
They don’t always say it outright. But their energy implies:
“Without me, you wouldn’t be this far.”
“Your success is because of me - my methods or my frequency.”
“You can’t trust other teachers - they’re not aligned like I am.”
What’s actually happening:
They’re positioning themselves as a spiritual gatekeeper - which instantly sets up a hierarchy and keeps you tethered. This breeds dependency. If you feel disoriented, confused, or unsafe considering other options, you’re already entangled.
2. They reframe your instincts as ego or projection.
You bring up a concern. They respond with:
“That’s your shadow talking.”
“You’re in resistance.”
“You’re just not calibrated to this frequency yet.”
“You don’t understand this yet.”
What’s actually happening:
They’re gaslighting you using spiritual language. This is not real shadow work - it’s a tactic to keep power unchallenged. The moment they convince you your intuition is a problem, they become the authority on your truth.
3. They isolate you from other support systems.
They will use triangulation, embedded thoughtforms, or they might say things like:
“Your friends are in a lower vibration.”
“They don’t understand.”
“You should take space from anyone who questions this work.”
“No one understands you like I do” “Don’t you remember our bond?”
What’s actually happening:
This is classic spiritual grooming. If they cut you off from outside mirrors, they become your only reality. It’s how people end up deeply embedded in high-control groups before they realize it.
4. They flood you with praise early - then use withdrawal to control you.
This is love bombing dressed as spiritual recognition and its a classic pattern with narcissists:
“You’re one of the rare ones.”
“I’ve never met someone with your raw potential before.”
“You're going to be famous one day.”
“You were called to be in this circle.”
But later, if you question something:
You’re ignored, ghosted, or corrected publicly
You feel exiled from the “inner circle”
They talk about you indirectly through “downloads” or social media posts
Something else is indirectly withheld from you or you are excluded in some way
What’s actually happening:
They’re exploiting your need for belonging. Praise becomes a tool of compliance. Your nervous system bonds to them through intermittent reinforcement - the same manipulation pattern found in narcissistic abuse cycles. In other words, it mirrors the trauma loop - you’re praised, then punished and your nervous system stays locked in survival mode. The hot-cold inconsistency conditions your nervous system to crave their approval, even when it harms you.
5. They frame your boundaries as a flaw instead of a sign of self-trust.
Often trying to gaslight you into believing that your boundary is ego instead of wisdom.
You may say: “I’m not available for this anymore.”
They respond with things like:
“That’s a trauma response.”
“You’re avoiding your next level.”
“You don’t see what I see here.”
What’s actually happening:
They’re crossing boundaries and calling it growth. This frames your self-protection as a problem they need to fix - which keeps you open to further manipulation.
6. They mine your vulnerability but stay emotionally opaque.
They encourage you to share deeply. Trauma. Sex. Past wounds. Shame you may have struggled with. Soul connections, relationships, and contracts. But when you ask them anything real about their journey or wounds?
Deflection. Mysticism. Vagueness.
Or worse - they spiritualize their lack of transparency:
“I’m not meant to be understood in this lifetime.”
They may also play on this emotional intimacy later implying things like “don’t you remember our bond” or trying to manipulate you through guilt or false loyalty/intimacy dynamics.
What’s actually happening:
They want access to your root system while remaining untouchable. It gives them leverage and maintains power imbalance. This is energetic vampirism. Or, in other words, they feed off your energy to feel more powerful, whole, or in control - often without your full awareness or conscious consent.
7. They weaponize money, power, and pricing.
You express hesitation around a high-ticket offer and suddenly:
“That’s your scarcity mindset.”
“If you were truly embodied in your feminine, you’d invest.”
“If you don’t say yes now, you’re signaling to the universe you’re not ready.”
What’s actually happening:
They’re using shame to bypass your inner authority and decision making process. Your body says no - but they use spiritual guilt to twist it into a growth opportunity. This is manipulative sales masquerading as spiritual work.
8. They build loyalty in the name of soul family.
The group becomes your main identity:
Everyone speaks the same language
Doubters are labeled as “misaligned”, “still in ego”, lost or “unwell”, or simply “they don’t understand”
People who leave are spiritually diminished, ignored, talked or lied about behind closed doors. Sometimes they try to cast themselves as a victim or “energetically owed”. They may even “pray for” someone they outcast in public while relentlessly attacking them in private, to somehow appear as if they are providing a blessing or priestess-like guidance. It is a facade.
What’s actually happening:
You’re inside a high-control container. Loyalty replaces discernment. You learn that staying close to power is more important than staying close to truth. And you are groomed to have reward and reinforcement to stay in this loop.
9. They spiritualize their harmful behavior.
“I mirrored your wound so you could heal.”
“I’m triggering your shadow for your growth.”
“If you’re uncomfortable, it’s your ego resisting the truth.”
“You’re being tested.”
“I had to break you open to awaken you.”
“Your fear is blocking your breakthrough.”
“That’s just your trauma talking.”
“This is your destiny path” “We are soul bound to walk this together”
What’s actually happening:
They’re justifying harm. They want you to transmute their abuse instead of holding them accountable for it.
10. They “channel” messages about you that override your own knowing.
“Your guides told me you’re not ready".”
“In a past life, you betrayed me - and that’s why you’re afraid of me.”
“If you don’t work with me again, your timeline will collapse.”
What’s actually happening:
They’re hijacking your spiritual sovereignty. This is energetic coercion masked as guidance.
11. You leave their presence feeling unclear, anxious, or addicted.
You feel:
Drained
Disoriented
Unsure if it was amazing…or manipulative
Like you need them to feel whole again
What’s actually happening:
That’s the glamour effect. You were pulled out of your center and wired into their frequency. It’s not activation - it’s addiction. And your body knows the difference.
What a True Guide Actually Looks Like
Let’s name the opposite - so you remember what real power feels like.
A true guide:
Sharpens your discernment
Celebrates your no
Doesn’t push boundaries or distance
Wants you to outgrow them
Anchors you back into your body, not into their orbit
Can admit mistakes and take feedback
Answers your questions fully and honestly to the best that they are able
Celebrates your wins and encourages genuine community without gossip, backstabbing, ulterior motives, or competition and ego-based agendas
Closing Reflection
If you saw yourself in this list - not as the manipulator but as the one who’s walked through it - here’s what you need to hear:
You didn’t fail.
You didn’t fall behind.
You woke up.
You now have the eyes to see - and the spine to say:
I trust myself more than I trust your performance.
That’s what ends the cycle.
That’s what keeps your field sovereign.
That’s how we end glamour-based leadership - by refusing to follow it anymore.
Journal Prompts:
Where did I feel “off” but silence myself to stay in someone’s good graces?
What spiritual phrases made me doubt my instincts?
What does real, grounded leadership feel like in my body?
Next week, we will pivot from breakdown to breakthrough guiding you to reclaim your discernment in:
The Sovereign Path - Part 5. Reclaiming Your Sovereignty: 7 Keys for Spiritual Discernment
But before, stay tuned for a post that woke me up last night to write. Where we will shine a light on dark magick and its distorted forms that played out in this.
Until then, wishing you peace, reflection, and much love,
Seraphina