The Four Ordeals of the Soul: Why Your Mind Might Be The Cage

Series Intro: Unbinding the Mental Tethers That Keep You From Your Evolution

Most people aren’t stuck because they’re lazy - they’re stuck because they’re mentally entangled in stories that no longer serve their soul.

They don’t realize their greatest attachment isn’t to a person or a dream….its to an idea of who they think they’re supposed to be.

And that attachment - subtle, mental, socially reinforced - is one of the biggest blocks to evolution.

Quick Primer: The Four Ordeals

In Western mystery traditions - initiation isn’t merely ceremonial. It unfolds through four elemental “ordeals” which we all experience in life. Each designed to strip you of a different illusion and help you grow along your evolutionary soul path. Earth confronts attachment to security and the material plane; Air exposes mental constructs and identity narratives; Water drowns false emotional dependencies and fantasy; Fire incinerates ego-will and unaligned desire. Together, these ordeals create a step-by-step initiation - each one burning away the layers of who you thought you had to be, so your true self can rise in its place. Once reserved for ritual and dreamwork, their deeper truth is this: life itself becomes the ritual once you choose to grow.

Each ordeal tests you on a fundamental level:

• Earth tests your attachment to safety, structure, survival.

• Water tests your emotional truth and capacity to feel without drowning.

• Air tests your mind: your thoughts, narratives, and your need to know.

• Fire tests your will: your ego, anger, and fear of dissolving all control.

And if you’re reading this?

You’re probably standing in the middle of the Ordeal of Air.

The Ordeal of Air: When Understanding Becomes the Addiction

This ordeal doesn’t always look like trauma. It often looks like clarity seeking, self-regulation, attachment to someone or something, or spiritual insight. But it can easily become a cage.

Here a few ways it can show up:

• Replaying conversations to figure out “what you did wrong”

• Overanalyzing a betrayal instead of grieving it

• Using spiritual language to bypass emotional truth

• Silencing yourself to preserve someone' else’s image of you

• Trying to explain yourself into worthiness

• Stalling a decision until every possible outcome has been predicted and analyzed

• Identity performance.- clinging to a role (“the wise one”, the “understanding one”, the “peaceful one”, etc) so much that you lose your ability to feel anger or set healthy boundaries

• Staying in the mind to avoid the body - thinking becomes a safe escape from embodiment.

• Chasing closure that doesn’t exist - can you let the story end without fully understanding why?

• Mentally locked in justice logic - the soul doesn’t speak in fairness, it speaks in truth. And, sometimes the truth is unfair but freeing.

Air is the realm of the mind, and it will convince you that if you just understand enough, you’ll finally be safe.

It is seductive because it mimics safety.

If you can understand it, name it, explain it - then surely you can control it.

But here is the truth - evolution doesn’t live in your mind.

It lives in the rupture.

In the death of the story.

In the moment you stop analyzing and start embodying.

In the moment you consciously stop a pattern that has held you back, reframe how you are seeing things, and choose differently.

When you finally release the need to be seen, and choose to be real.

This is the lesson of Pluto in the air signs - and for those of us generationally with Pluto in Libra (like me), this isn’t just conceptual spiritual theory.

This is soul initiation.

It’s personal.

It’s karmic.

It’s now.

Why This Series Now?

Because we are collectively being thrown into the Ordeal of Air as Pluto moves through Aquarius (an air sign) from 2023-2043.

We’re actively watching ideologies fracture, belief systems collapse, mental identities unravel.

And, we’re being asked to contemplate:

• Can you release the story and still trust your soul?

• Can you breathe through the ego death of being misunderstood, unseen, or wrong?

Pluto doesn’t politely ask.

It rips the mental tether free and dares you to fly.

It doesn’t consider intention or feelings. It simply wants you to strip away any tether that binds your soul from becoming its freest, most embodied, authentic, aligned, and alive self.

And, it will do so whether you are ready for it to or not.

This series is for those of you:

• Who are breaking free from relational enmeshment and identity loops.

• Who have used over-preparing and understanding as a safety mechanism (I know I certainly am guilty of this!).

• Who are being asked to think less and feel more.

• Who are ready to finally stop performing and start embodying.

What You’ll Learn In This Series

In the weeks ahead, we’ll walk through:

• The hidden ways your mind keeps you bound (even in healing spaces).

• Why your “need for clarity” might actually be a trauma loop.

• The karmic soul contracts of Air: Pluto in Libra and Aquarius and why you’re feeling it now.

• Breaking mental tethers and psychic attachments that aren’t serving your evolution.

• Reclaiming your power when being midunderstood - and embracing how this is part of your path.

• Initiatory breath work, ritual ideas, and thought deconstruction practices for mental liberation.

• How Pluto through the 4 elements (Capricorn —> Aquarius —> Pisces —> Aries) is burning through the collective soul story.

Each post will include both insights from an esoteric and evolutionary perspective as well as useful tips and invitations to help unbind yourself.

This is not about being more healed, more right, or more enlightened.

This is about becoming more authentic….more you.

The Invitation

You’ve tried being wise.

You’ve tried being palatable.

You’ve tried being so understandable, so well-spoken, so spiritually “together” and relatable that no one could possibly misunderstand you.

And still - your soul aches.

Because the truth is…

You can’t think your way into transformation.

And trying to explain yourself into worthiness will never set you free.

This series isn’t here to validate your story.

It’s here to help you unwrite it - so something deeper - more meaningful, aligned, and authentic to you - can finally take root.

A version of you exists on the other side of identity loops, overthinking spirals, and the performance of healing.

She doesn’t need to be understood.

She needs to be remembered.

So if you’re done trading truth for clarity…

If you’re ready to stop contorting yourself to be seen…

Then step into this fire.

Let the wind tear the words from your mouth.

Let the breath return to your body.

Let your soul speak - not to be understood, but to be unbound.

Your evolution doesn’t need your explanation to anyone else.

It needs your yes.

Next Week In the Series:

The Mind as a Cage: Why Understanding Isn’t the Same as Healing

I’m excited to explore and unpack these with you!

Wishing you much love along your journey - this week and always,

Seraph

Mars Finally Stations Direct!

I don't know about you all, but this has been one intense retrograde for me this time around. I’m doing a bit of a happy dance this morning as Mars officially stations direct today in Cancer at 17 degrees. Unlike other planets coming out of retrograde, Mars takes a bit longer to gain momentum and start moving again. So, while he is officially direct today, we might not actually feel this change until he starts gaining speed and movement around March 8. He will be fully out of his shadow around the end of May.

Mars is in his fall in Cancer, meaning that its energy is more indirect, protective, or emotionally driven, instead of its usual assertive, forward moving nature. So, as he stations direct, these energetic themes will be amplified, making it an ideal time for deep reflection and redirection of personal willpower.

As he moves out of his internal deep dive in retrograde, it is a great time to reflect on the insights, reflections, and downloads have you received this transit. Some of the themes that may have come to the surface may have included the following:

The Power of Emotional Willpower

Cancer is ruled by the Moon, which governs our subconscious, emotions, and instincts. Mars stationing direct here asks us, Are you moving from a place of true emotional security, or are you reacting out of fear and defensiveness? It’s a really potent opportunity to contemplate the duality of protection vs. projection; learning how to fight for what nurtures you without letting emotional reactivity drive your actions. What triggers and patterns have you identified this retrograde season?

Healing Ancestral Patterns

Cancer rules the home, family, lineage, and ancestral roots. Mars here brought a courage and encouragement to deep drive and explore and confront inherited wounds; especially any that surround masculinity, protection, safety, and emotional expression. What surfaced up for you here? What generational patterns or cycles have you recognized and are you choosing to break? Are you acting from your own inner authority or are you carrying outdated family expectations?

Where Have You Been Holding Back?

Mars retrograde can often be a time in which we feel like our energy dips, our drive is stifled, and our assertiveness quieted. As he stations direct today, you will begin to notice a shift in your energy, slowly building momentum as he gains motion, and you likely will find yourself inspired with decisive action of some sort. What have you been inspired to pursue?

Divine Masculine Healing & Reclamation

Cancer represents the Divine Feminine, and Mars, the Divine Masculine. My natal placement is Mars in Cancer, which means he is in his fall here. Often described, as the energy of a warrior trying to run in water - not very effective! This placement often speaks to a wounded masculine energy that has been taught to suppress emotions or express them in unhealthy, destructive ways. I can tell you, that in my own life, this is emphatically true. I have struggled with expressing myself and my emotions authentically nearly all of my life. I was primed at a very young age to ignore my body and my emotions and instead to focus on the energy and needs of others and what needs to be done from a perspective of survival, productivity, and “success”. As a result, I often used to dissociate; a pattern that took me decades to recognize and heal. This retrograde season has been a big awakening to me of the connection between these two and the importance of recognizing my own desires - allowing them to flow and finding a voice and aligned energy to empower them. Mars stationing direct is an opportunity to redefine masculinity and power in a way that integrates emotional intelligence, find strength through vulnerability, and empower protective, nourishing leadership. How has this theme shown up for you? What healing have you found and what steps are calling out to you for action?

The Sacred Warrior Archetype

Mars in Cancer isn’t a brute force warrior - he isn’t found on the front lines of a classic battle. He is a guardian, a protector, and a spiritual warrior who passionately defends what is sacred. What is worth fighting for in your life? What legacy of protection and security do you want to build for yourself and those who you love and come after you? How do you want to nourish those that matter in your life?

Realignment of Purpose After Emotional Recalibration

Today’s stationing moment is a pivotal point - an invitation to step into action. But in the energy of Cancer, it may not be in the way that you expect. Instead of charging ahead recklessly, the energy of Mars in Cancer drives us to tap into our intuition and take emotionally aligned movement forward. So, before taking action in the next few weeks, ponder for yourself, your intentions and whether or not the energy deeply aligns and is authentic. Does this path make me feel safe and emotionally fulfilled? Am I taking action from a place of love or fear? How can I integrate deep nourishment into my ambitions?

Mars for me is in both Cancer, as well as my 12th house. The house of my subconscious, past life karma, hidden strengths, and spiritual integration. So, not only has this been my Mars retrograde, but it is also, my Mars return. It has been full of deep awakenings and reflections; self sabotaging habits have bubbled up for awareness, I’ve had a deeply embedded fear surface for healing, and I’ve recognized an ancestral wounding pattern in my life that I know I am purposed to help heal. For at least 3 generations that I can confirm and trace, the women in my family have carried deep wounds of childhood emotional neglect (CEN). Mental illness runs in my maternal line and was the source for both my mother - her mother was in and out of a mental institution during most of her childhood, leaving her emotionally unfulfilled and devoid of deep maternal nurturing, emotional safety, and the beauty and validation of rich emotional aliveness. She, as a result, battled her own mental illness issues of Borderline Personality Disorder and likely (undiagnosed) Bipolar disorder. As the oldest of 3, I became the parentified child of the family; I vividly remember in Kindergarten being left alone to care for my sisters for the first time. Standing on a chair at the sink washing dishes and feeding my younger sister her dinner in her highchair. This pattern continued as I had my first “job” after school in 3rd grade cleaning houses and buying my own clothing on layaway at the Mulberry Bush. I felt so proud buying clothes that no longer had safety pins in them for buttons like the hand-me-downs from the well meaning church friends who donated them. But, it was the little actions like this that validated, and embedded patterns of self-sufficiency, work over emotional tending, and self-subjugation in me at a very, very young age. On my own, since before I graduated from high school, these patterns only became more deeply embedded and normalized, that it was not until decades later that I became aware that I was even doing them and that my operating system was so far out of sync with healthy behavioral patterning. And, while I have done an enormous amount of healing and work, I am aware that I still have more to do. This retrograde season has reminded me of the importance of self-care; taking time for myself, calling back my own energy, being vulnerable enough to be open to receiving love, and that I do not need to self-subjugate my own desires just to appease others. And, while I have not birthed my own children - all 4 of mine are adopted from foster care - 3 of the 4 (the 4th being one we have had since birth) carry trauma from their own childhood emotional neglect from well before coming into our home. That pattern of ancestral wounding? Well it found my lineage even if it wasn’t through traditional means. A fascinating discovery and one that again, I know, I am purposed to help heal this lifetime. But, to do that, I have to heal my own wounds and inner child first. So that I can be fully present, authentically aligned, and deeply nourishing to their own emotional world and needs so that their struggles and future can look different from my own. What a gift. Yet, what an enormous mountain. And that, is my Mars challenge this lifetime.

This all might sound relatively straightforward, but for me these are profound jewels that I’ve unearthed. And, that is my treasure this season. What have you mined for yourself this retrograde and how will you honor your new discoveries by your actions this year? This, my friends, is how we work with the sky and make internal shifts and growth in our own life. And over time, these small shifts and steps lead to profound transformation.

Wishing you all the magick, desire, and growth you so deeply crave and deserve this Rx season. Remember that Mars in Cancer isn’t asking you to take warrior action - instead it is asking you to dive deep, align with your innermost emotional truth - and tap into the wisdom of your heart to lead the way forward.